Going the distance
Dear Diary,
I stayed awake last night waiting for sleep to come. Sometimes as my body shuts down for the day my mind needs to overcompensate by kicking into overdrive. So I lay there and my mind was working processing how my life has transformed in seven years.
I was thinking about being 18, attending community college (just because that is what you do after highschool, right?) and I met this 23 year old cat named Kelly. We hit it off because she was well connected with the drug scene in Oak Towne and was more than generous with her connections, which meant free pot for me. She liked me for some reason--I still don't know what would attract her to a punk kid like me... (Now all this is just backround to what I was actually thinking of...I wasn't rehashing my poor relationships of the past...)
So anyway we hung out a bunch, me for drugs, her for the chance to be with a primo dude. I was unaware of this, do to a THC-flavored cloud around my head. Eventually I got freaked out because she told me one night how she was excited to know me because she's with a dude she could think of as her daughter's father, ect. Now being an 18 year old kid I got freaked the heck out and so that whole mutually benificial relationship failed quickly.
I thought of that whole time of my life and then I thought of the woman I lay in bed with. I was so excited just because I had the priveldge to lay next to her, hear her sleep, touch her hair. I just lay there last night in love.
The old brain was just sitting there spinning looking at how my life is different. I was afraid (rightly so) of this girl in college, of what she wanted, of who I was. Now I'm overwhelmed to just lay in bed with a woman I can't get enough of! It's a beautiful thing, man, to feel the spirit inside me swelling almost to bursting (that's what it feels like, at least)just because I can hear this woman next to me breathing, smell her lotion. I'm not a mush-ball or cheesy here, I just was amazed last night by where my life has been, where I am, and the future ahead.
I stayed awake last night waiting for sleep to come. Sometimes as my body shuts down for the day my mind needs to overcompensate by kicking into overdrive. So I lay there and my mind was working processing how my life has transformed in seven years.
I was thinking about being 18, attending community college (just because that is what you do after highschool, right?) and I met this 23 year old cat named Kelly. We hit it off because she was well connected with the drug scene in Oak Towne and was more than generous with her connections, which meant free pot for me. She liked me for some reason--I still don't know what would attract her to a punk kid like me... (Now all this is just backround to what I was actually thinking of...I wasn't rehashing my poor relationships of the past...)
So anyway we hung out a bunch, me for drugs, her for the chance to be with a primo dude. I was unaware of this, do to a THC-flavored cloud around my head. Eventually I got freaked out because she told me one night how she was excited to know me because she's with a dude she could think of as her daughter's father, ect. Now being an 18 year old kid I got freaked the heck out and so that whole mutually benificial relationship failed quickly.
I thought of that whole time of my life and then I thought of the woman I lay in bed with. I was so excited just because I had the priveldge to lay next to her, hear her sleep, touch her hair. I just lay there last night in love.
The old brain was just sitting there spinning looking at how my life is different. I was afraid (rightly so) of this girl in college, of what she wanted, of who I was. Now I'm overwhelmed to just lay in bed with a woman I can't get enough of! It's a beautiful thing, man, to feel the spirit inside me swelling almost to bursting (that's what it feels like, at least)just because I can hear this woman next to me breathing, smell her lotion. I'm not a mush-ball or cheesy here, I just was amazed last night by where my life has been, where I am, and the future ahead.
posted by Uncle Fatso at 5:48 AM
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